Open Bar, Cash Bar, No Bar....Oh My!

One of the most DEBATED topics on any wedding page or forum is alcohol for weddings and how you should serve it. I'm going to explain it from all angles as this can be a very tough decision for a lot of couples. I'm going to break down factors to consider, ettiquette on the topic and how to handle whatever you choose. At the end of the day, you know your guests better than any random stranger so make the choice you can afford that will make your day how you pictured it.

Now... buckle your seat belts. 

OPEN BAR

What it is: Open bar is exactly what it sounds like. A bar that is totally open to guests. There's a few different variations of this. Full bar- a full bar is stocked with all the liquor, beer, and wine your heart desires. You have everything a regular "bar" may have. Modified full bar- maybe you just have vodka and rum, a few beers and a couple wines, you still have selections from each category. Beer & wine- all the beer and wine you can drink but none of the hard stuff. (beer and wine only bars are the most common and for a lot of venues, they only allow beer and wine). Your guests do not pay a dime and can drink as much as they want when you have an open bar. Oftentimes, venues will have you pay either per head, consumption (you'll get a bill at the end based on what was consumed), or pay per person over 21. Which way it is packaged will depend on your venue, if your venue gives an option, choose based on your guests. If you don't have heavy drinkers, a consumption bar may be the best bang for your buck. If you have a crew that likes to party, paying per head may be best. The last option is building your own bar. You'll have to buy your own supplies (including drinks, mixers, shakers, cups, ice), hire a bartender (that is licensed and insured), get liability insurance and an ABC event license (if in VA). Building your own bar can save you money but there's a lot of leg work for you.  

What "they" say: No one is going to bash you for having an open bar. This is considered the correct"ettiquette" as many say guests should never have to pull out their wallet. Whether you have beer and wine, a full bar or a modified full bar, people will be 100% happy because it is free. 

What I say and things to consider: Not everyone can afford the extra thousands of dollars an open bar usually costs and to be honest, they aren't ALWAYS the best choice for every crowd. The other things you MUST consider besides cost are: insurace- you absolutely have to have liability insurace, if someone gets hurt OR hurts someone at or leaving your event due to being intoxicated you could be liable; transportation- kinda along the lines of insurance, if you are serving unlimited amounts of alcohol at your wedding, it really is your responsibility to make sure no one drives, I suggest either shuttle transportation or UberEvents; lastly, liquor license, in VA this would be an Event ABC license but most states have their own versions, it is required by law and may even be needed in order to purchase alcohol if you're doing your own bar. 

Cash Bar

Cash bars are bars that require guests to pay for their drinks themselves. Some couples do open bars part of the night and then cash bar, or they pay up to a limit and after that limit turn into a cash bar. Cash bars tend to be the most economical choice and they aren't always CASH, some use cards. With it being 2018 and millenials footing the bills more and more often for their weddings, cash bars are gaining popularity. 

What "they" say: Many people still say it's rude to have a cash ar at a wedding as guests shouldn't pay for anything. Others will say guests will leave sooner if they have to pay, its difficult to tell guests that there will be a cash bar without sounding rude. 

What I say and whatyou must consider: Again, open bars are not in everyone's budget. A cash bar is a good way to have alcohol available without going broke. However, guests at a party at your house wouldn't pay for their alcohol right? Wedding guests should be treated as guests and not customers. If you can't afford an open bar, I suggest providing SOMETHING such as one wine and beer being free for them, a signature cocktail or two that's free or at least doing the partial open bar with a cap. As long as you host your guests with something provided, you shouldn't get any side eye. Unfortunately, guests may leave sooner if they are footing the bill for their own drinks. Also, if you're getting married at a winery or vineyard, you SHOULD provide wine for free to guests as they are likely looking forward to it. 

Dry Wedding?

Dry weddings are ones without any alcohol whatsoever. Most couples who choose this have reasons such as recovering from alcoholism themselves or a majority of guests are or religious reasons. A dry wedding is incredibly taboo and should be thought about before you commit to it as a wedding without alcohol MAY result in negative outcomes for your day but- again, you know your guests. 

What "they" say: It is rude to not have alcohol at all. Guests will leave early and people will sneak alcohol in. 

What I say and what you should consider: If you and/or your spouse are in fact recovering from alcoholism, guests will likely anticipate a dry wedding. Guests WILL leave sooner. Every dry wedding I have done ended an average of 2-3 hours sooner than weddings that had bars. While alcohol isn't required to have fun, it does help people loosen up and get on the dance floor! There's a high possibility people will sneak to the parking lot to drink or sneak alcohol in which could make you liable. Many venues have rules for dry weddings that if there is a drop of alcohol, the wedding gets shut down. If you're getting married at a winery, vineyard or brewery, your guests will be disappointed there isn't any alcohol. A cash bar is usually more accepted than no bar. If you're sticking to your guns and not having alcohol, you may want to mention on your wedding website that no alcohol will be provided and none can be brought on premises. 

At the end of the day, it is your wedding and I am sure it will be beautful. As a coordinator, my job is just to make sure couples are informed and understand their choices. 

email me at tatiana@simplycharmedevents.com if you'd like help with your wedding.